• Goda Žukauskaitė

Survived My Birthday

Updated: Jan 26, 2021

So, 27th December is over. Meaning, I survived my birthday. I don’t know why, but I always lose myself on this day. I always start to feel quite sad the night before it comes and then fighting the awkwardness on an actual day. I think it’s one of the most difficult days for me in the year. Anyway, it is over. As well as the whole big week.

21 December. Starting on Monday with 9h long live stream performance under constant rain, wind, and cold. It was rough, but we went for it and did it! Although, it didn’t feel that we finished… The day after we were still busy and I felt completely healthy and energized. The day passed, I was left alone for the first time after the live stream and fell asleep. That night was quite insane. I was falling into a deep dream, being pulled out of it with dizziness in my head and confusion in my body, throwing up, falling back to sleep, falling back to the dream, being pulled out one more time to run and throw up and again falling… And this happened at least 5 times. When the sun rose - it was over. My body was completely exhausted and tired. That felt like the end of the performance. Cleaning up from very deep inside…

24 - 26 December. I felt it will be a challenging time too. Actually, it was nice! The sun was shining, the days were beautiful. That was a real celebration - feeling the sun and knowing those days becoming longer.

The night before my birthday storm came back. Deja Vu of Monday. The same elements woke up. The whole night the boat was moving, the rain was pouring and the wind was not letting me free - constantly talking and giving some new tasks to be aware of. It continued through the day until my friends arrived and softened the air around. After some time full of love and fun, the weather outside got softer.

Now I’m ready to jump in the water and go to sleep. Now I’m ready to close the chapter of this week, accept that I turned 27, and go on!

Thank you to all the people for the beautiful birthday wishes! I wish you the same, even though it’s not your birthday :)

Grateful for my friends and family, who have the power to stop the storms.

Goodnight, I go for a night swim! Happy 28th Dec!

Picture from Monday. By Elliot Dehaspe

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